Three days of no sleep

Becomes a few months with no peace

Popping pills is only temporary

And I’ve become extinct to any sanctuary

The nightmares are streaming

And I’m only halfway living

Possible became impossible

And the very small become colossal

The once hopeful patriot

Becomes the knight of reckless endangerment

Drinks for altered egos

Standing in the street observing other freaks called people

Occasionally writing up suicidal letters

Trying to escape assuming it will make it all better

Looking down from the edge to the hardest conclusion

This reckless persona offers no resolution

Poet’s Thoughts:

One of the times where I was fighting against myself. I was trying everything I could to escape the emotional pain I was feeling. The pills I was popping, anywhere from 5-6 at a time gave me nothing more but stomach aches. They weren’t pills that could really harm me but I was trying whatever I could. Drinking also became a habit as I drowned in it almost every night until I had forgotten what had me down in the first place. But the feel was only temporary as I’d go right back to feeling down, feeling the emotional pain again. I found myself crying a lot, asking myself why? Why are you doing this? It will only get worse if you continue down this path. It took a lot for me to see that, but I saw it. And I stopped.