So, I actually had people message me yesterday in regards to the haiku I posted yesterday. And yes, the haiku is referring to my personal loss last year. Not many know this, but I suffered from two miscarriages.
The emotions that came with this loss were of confusion, sadness, anger and guilt. I felt I was responsible for losing my blessings, even though people around me, including the doctor, had said I had nothing to do with it. It’s hard to believe you aren’t at fault, when you are the one carrying your blessing and you lose it. I was thinking about what I had done wrong or didn’t do right. It was just something I had no control over.
I felt angry because I had really wanted to start a family and while now I understand why it had to happen, back then it was hard to believe in the why it did. This unfortunate incident has changed me, but for the better. As much as I’ve cried about my loss, I also learned something about it. The main point being that I am still alive and can conceive later on in life. I did discover that due to a certain medical condition I have, was the real reason for my miscarriages. Now, I know what I have to do to heal my body and prepare it for the future blessing(s) I will carry.
Another blessing through all of this was support from my family and of course, my fiance, Hector. Without them, I would have definitely stayed in a very bad state of mind. They helped me get through this really rough patch. And while I had to get through it, I made it and doing very well now. I also want to thank the friends that reached out to me and spoke comforting words. It meant a lot to me that, while unfortunately you went through the same ordeal, you also inspired hopefulness.