Mended (Poetry Block 46)

He touched me without really touching me.

Well, his words did, in the most sincere way.

I remember feeling a certain change when I held my hand over my heart.

Within each beat I felt relief, healing and love.

Perhaps, it was the tone he used, or the words spoken that began the mending.

Whatever it was, I had not felt that way before.

 

The problems I spoke of, he always found solutions for.

Something I was too stuck on not finding.

He didn’t know me from anyone and still he stayed and listened.

Never finding fault in what I considered failure.

Helping me see the bigger picture.

Giving me cause to hope.

 

Where had he been all my life?  I began to wonder.

Tears of joy fell behind a screen he couldn’t see out of.

And I was grateful for that.

Without truly knowing him, he head done more for me than I could have done for myself.  At that time.

We might have been miles apart, but his words encouraged me.  They moved me.

 

He took the time to be there for me.

And it grew from there.  The love did.

My heart, down to my soul, was mended.

And all because he cared.  He truly cared.

 

What more can you say about a person like that? A man, especially.  It’s rare.


 

Poet’s Thoughts:

This poem was written at a time in which we only spoke through Facebook Messenger and both never knowing if we’d ever meet.  We spoke on a daily basis through messenger for a bit until we were able to talk on the phone.  And in times where messaging each other lapsed, the very next time he messaged me he would explain what had happened.  Not that I asked for it, but he felt he needed to explain.  In messaging him about things I was going through, he helped me see another perspective to my problem, as well as a solution to it.  He helped clear my mind by talking to me and not down to me.  No matter how many times I had fallen in these times, he still remained highly optimistic and later I found out things he was going through at the same time, but he felt to be there for me.  And when needed, I returned the favor in whatever way I could.  It was the little things back then that we did for one another that helped build our foundation and now we have little and big things that continue to keep our foundation strong.

Intrusion by Theresa M. Odom-Surgick

intrusion

Intrusion

Review:

Theresa did a magnificent job in revealing to us, the many intrusions we are faced with, and what the choices are in dealing with them. It is never an easy thing when it does come to facing them, because the effects are a constant, bitter memory/reality. There were vengeful adversaries in this book and each of them were enlightened.  The mention of God and his true and unfailing ways of reaching us, especially through our hearts, was a powerful message.  Because, in all reality, that is the way he works.  People can be closed to the idea of him or be opened to it.  Either way he still loves us no matter what.   And that’s the true miracle of his love.

The Foundation (Poetry Block 45)

I love him.  And I will always love him.

His smile is my main focus.

His heart will beat with my heart, as one, because this is the place we always come back to when we’re together and when we’re apart.

If his chin should ever point down, then I will lift it with understanding. Until our very eyes have met with purpose.

If his feet should ever get heavy, then I will carry him with comfort.  My feet are not so weary, but we press on together.  Such is to walk as a pair.

My hands will hold him when his hands are too tired from holding himself.

My lips will kiss away any bruises his body endures throughout his journey.  And I will hug whatever emptiness attempts to linger within.

He is not perfect.  But, he is perfect to me.

And if ever the day comes and I see his tears, I will catch them in the palm of my hand, and blow them into blessings to be scattered in the wind.

For he is not alone.  He will no longer be alone.  Even if we are separated by miles or by hours.  Loneliness is not something he wears.

Home is more than just a building, and it’s where he belongs. And for me, home is in my heart.  So he will never be homeless.

Because I love him.  And I will always love him.


 

Poet’s Thoughts:

This one made me cry when I first wrote this poem down because I was channeling obstacles that were intervening with us being together.  And now, come to think about all of that and to see where we’ve come, makes me super proud we didn’t let those obstacles win.  As individuals, we both have experienced our own types of hell and have met face to face with our demons and we both knew succumbing to them would only bring us down.  But, with that being said, sometimes, one of us is down and the other knows what to do without being asked.  The wonderful thing about this tag team love we have is that one is willing to travel that darkness, if one of us falls, to save that person and bring them out.  And, when either one of us falls, a lot of the times we know we have to pick ourselves up before falling all the way down, because of where it might lead.  We’ve come to help each other deal in these challenges together.  There was one incident in which I felt so defeated and deflated and he stood on his knees and looked me straight in the eyes and begged me not to go there to that place, because without me, he couldn’t survive…he couldn’t survive “us” without me and that’s all it took for me to snap the hell out of where I was going.  And I remember thinking, damn, if that’s not love, then I don’t know what love is.

God and his Greatest Opposer (Poetry Block 39)

The sun shines

And the flowers bloom

The rain clouds tower

While the rest of life follows

Still, underneath all beauty

A tormentor shadows

One can’t live without the other

For there is good and bad in everything

Yet the choice to obey is sometimes harder

The tormentor knows our dreams

And preys upon our weaknesses

But God still holds out for us

Instilling us with consciousness

God creates

Giving us a high in abundances

While the tormentor destroys

Clipping our wings maliciously

Though God stays a few steps ahead

The tormentor harmfully follows

For it is always an everlasting battle

Going with God

While the tormentor prowls


 

Poet’s Thoughts:

We have the ability to choose right from wrong. We have the ability to know what good and what bad comes out of our decision making. Sometimes we question the consequences when we choose the bad, or we simply don’t believe any bad will come at all. That we might actually get away by a landslide but it doesn’t happen often, but they do happen. We defy because we are certain of the outcome when in fact we are not and so we learn the hard way of doing things as opposed to the smart way of doing things. We try to skip or cut corners and yes there are moments where that works out, but, not always. We often get steered the wrong way but God is watching and he provides us with an out if we truly see the bigger picture. And he knows we will fall but he will always remain in close proximity to help us back on our feet whereas the enemy would just let us fall and run off. The enemy might know us inside and out and know how to push our buttons, but, God too, knows us inside and out and is willing to guide us, even if it means falling first. 

 

Fever of the Mind (Poetry Block 38)

As the nights are more vicious

I can barely catch a breath

From the nightmare I’m still constantly living

Where thoughts become fallen tears

And memories a drunken curse

The razor that tastes my skin

This battle of depression seems to be getting worse

I thought I was better

But some days I don’t know

My mind is is in the state of fragile

And the anger within still flows

The chains that have me

I broke once before

And each attempt to fight

Tightens their grip ten times more

Sometimes the fight isn’t in me

And I’m sickened to even try

So I lay down in my own sickness

Fighting a fever of the mind


 

Poet’s Thoughts:

This one is another favorite of mine despite the topic at hand. It’s the way that I describe my battle with depression and where my mind is at the time of its conquering. This was written at a time where I literally had become so fatigued from the fight with myself that I just let go and let it take me over. I just fell into sleep and just cried and cried and cried. Yes, I did cut some more, I did drink, drowning myself in something. But, most importantly I broke that fever, overtime.