Reckless Endangerment (Poetry Block 4)

Three days of no sleep

Becomes a few months with no peace

Popping pills is only temporary

And I’ve become extinct to any sanctuary

The nightmares are streaming

And I’m only halfway living

Possible became impossible

And the very small become colossal

The once hopeful patriot

Becomes the knight of reckless endangerment

Drinks for altered egos

Standing in the street observing other freaks called people

Occasionally writing up suicidal letters

Trying to escape assuming it will make it all better

Looking down from the edge to the hardest conclusion

This reckless persona offers no resolution


Poet’s Thoughts:

One of the times where I was fighting against myself. I was trying everything I could to escape the emotional pain I was feeling. The pills I was popping, anywhere from 5-6 at a time gave me nothing more but stomach aches. They weren’t pills that could really harm me but I was trying whatever I could. Drinking also became a habit as I drowned in it almost every night until I had forgotten what had me down in the first place. But the feel was only temporary as I’d go right back to feeling down, feeling the emotional pain again. I found myself crying a lot, asking myself why? Why are you doing this? It will only get worse if you continue down this path. It took a lot for me to see that, but I saw it. And I stopped.

Rooftop Blues (Poetry Block 3)

Staring down at the city

So peaceful from up above

Yet my heart feels burdened

And running empty on love

The tears of the suffering

Are in my every thought

And I am just one person

Looking down at this once beautiful city, now gone

The streets are deserted

No lights to shine a way

What life is left here not burning

Has been left to a temporary save

So as I stand here

Wings spread out for peace

For the many that lay weary

I will lay my life for them to be free


Poet’s Thoughts: 

When we take the time to step back and appreciate what we have all around us, it is beautiful, breathtaking even. But sometimes we get greedy and the very thing we come to love, we also destroy. We find ourselves trying to pick up the pieces but it’s never the same like when we first have something, or when we first experience something. Yet, somewhere unknown to us there is always someone or some circumstance that brings us back to what we had forgotten. 

 

Solid Rock (Poetry Block 2)

Looking for a balance

Or something that makes sense

Tired of that emotion

That fills up on emptiness

It’s hard to find solutions

When you keep on getting caught

The next few days may look dreary

But your faith will not

Certain ground may be unstable

Enemies and obstacles will knock

But you always stand as the strong one

Standing with two feet on solid rock


Poet’s Thoughts:

We all fall at one point, sometimes we stay down and out, especially when everything hits us all at once. But this poem offers hope that no matter what we face, no matter how hard we’re hit, we can handle it. And…we’re going to come out on top!

Contain the Violence (Poetry Block 1)

Hands that form fists

Punch out unwanted reflections

The desire to keep going

Is hatred feeding obsession

But an inner voice screams

Pausing the body for a moment

It’s not worth the pain

If you breathe and don’t take it slowly

Contain the violence

And cage your inner demons

Pray on your knees

And let good fill your spirits

In the unknown

Something beautiful always grows

Look up love

And the best will surely follow


Poet’s Thoughts: 

For some of us, our bad days are far more worse than others. This particular poem explains one of my bad days. This is one of many poems that expresses how it is easier for me to externalize physical pain instead of handling the emotional pain. And when I mean “externalizing physical pain”, I mean hurting myself physically. It was just something I could handle easier. But, like it says at the end, “look up love, and the best will surely follow”. When I find a moment to breathe, to collect my thoughts positively, I realize I’m going to be okay.